Spring has come to Paris. The season of love, as they call it. I assume it is the time of the year when one is supposed to be full of life and happiness. It does make me glad, but it certainly has not made me less tired. I have not found the courage in me to write this blogpost. Night after night I have tried, but in the end I was too exhausted to know where to begin. I have held it back for too long, there are even more things to tell, and I do not feel like writing what I meant to. Not now, at least.
One of my little joys in life is that my hair is finally long enough for a little bun. Jolly, is it not?
Based on my recent posts (or, my posts while living in France) you might think I always complain. I think that is the thing that prevented me from writing. I do not want you to think I am always on a bad mood, or find every single little thing worth complaining, it is just that for me, writing is much easier when I am feeling blue. When I am happy, I do not spend hours thinking about my life. And since there have been good days (no need to write), and bad days, when I was all exhausted, it led to this circle of not writing.
Six months gone by, six more weeks to go. It is time to go home, alright. I will miss Paris' little delights, such as my dear Shakespeare & Company, and for sure my friends (luckily most of them are Finnish, so I will see them more often than for example the German ones. But I cannot wait for you to come visit me!), my favourite vintage shops in Montmartre.. But mostly I think these months were a waste of my time. I have had to suffer because of being too kind, and ended up staying even if I wanted to leave.
As if I did not have enough worries already, I have been let down by someone I thought was different. Why do people say something, and then act the contrary? Even if the person was reading this, I do not know if they would recognise themselves. It is bittersweet to find someone who is strikingly similar, for instance when it comes to general interests in life, and afterwards be let down. It would be just fine, if they said they do not want to be friends, or what ever the problem is, but this kind of behaviour is not fair. Without going to further details I just have to wonder why some people find the simple task of answering, or writing back, so difficult.
P.S. I am selling a pair of Minna Parikka ballerinas!
P.P.S. Before you think otherwise, I want to say that I have the best brothers, mum, dad, friends and readers. :-)