take me some place where there's music and there's laughter

Hi. I'm not really sure what to say and how to write this, but I felt like I had to do it anyway. Even though I'd like to blog, I always fall out of the habit. I'm tired. Actually, I'm exhausted at times.

My dad's got cancer, my grandma's got cancer. I haven't cried all that much, but I think of them (especially my dad) every single day. Who's next? Probably the dog, he's already 13 years old... It's not only that, but since 2010 almost every year something bad or nasty happens. Good things, too, but still.

I don't know what to write, I don't know how to talk to people. What do you say when everything sucks and you don't want to be a killjoy at every single event you go to? Sure, I have good days, sometimes I really enjoy life, but there's always either numbness or sorrow behind it. Mostly numbness, which I hate. I'd rather feel something, even sorrow.

Gotta keep working, gotta keep studying. I wish I could go on a holiday! Or I could stay here, too, but if only I didn't have any obligations.

I just want to sleep, pick mushrooms in the forest and see people while they're still here. Hope you're doing well.


Anonymous said...

osuin blogiisi sattumalta. kosketit osuvasti samoja tunteita tuntevaa. tuntuu että maailma on surua täynnä. älä kuitenkaan unohda, että hyviä asioitakin tapahtuu. ihan varmasti! kauniita syyspäiviä sinulle ja läheisillesi. <3

Anniina said...

Kiitos kauniista sanoistasi! Kivempia päiviä odotellessa, toivon samaa sinulle. :)

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